How to Stop Anxiety

Anxiety can be a real pain in the you-know-what. It can make small things feel enormous, make everyday tasks feel impossible, and for people living with severe anxiety, things many of us take for granted, going outside, going to a crowded restaurant, answering a phone call, can feel like huge challenges. It is no joke. In fact, it is estimated that over 8 million people in the UK experience an anxiety disorder at any one time.

Dealing with anxiety when you are not sure what you are even dealing with is hard. So in this article, we are going to break down how to spot anxiety in yourself and in the people around you, look at some anxiety coping strategies that can help, and talk about when it might be time to reach out for more support.

Anxiety does not always look like worrying. It can show up in your body, your thoughts, and your behaviour in ways that are easy to dismiss or explain away as something else entirely.

How to spot anxiety in yourself

Physically, you might notice:

• A tight chest, racing heart, or shortness of breath

• Nausea, headaches, or an unsettled stomach

• Feeling physically tense or unable to relax

• Fatigue from carrying around that constant low-level alertness

In your thoughts, look out for:

• Catastrophising, jumping straight to the worst possible outcome

• Getting stuck in a loop of ‘what ifs’ that you can’t seem to switch off

• Overthinking decisions that would normally feel straightforward

• Struggling to concentrate, or feeling like your brain is always ‘on’

In your behaviour, anxiety often shows up as:

• Avoiding things that feel scary, cancelling plans, putting off difficult conversations

• Seeking reassurance from others more than usual

• Difficulty sleeping, or waking up already feeling anxious

• Feeling irritable or on edge for reasons you can’t quite pin down

That last one is worth noting. Anxiety does not always feel like fear; sometimes it just feels like grumpiness or exhaustion. If you are finding that anxiety is slowly shrinking your world, that is worth paying attention to.

If someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, it can sometimes be tricky to recognise, partly because people are often very good at masking it, and partly because anxiety does not always look the way we expect it to.

How anxiety might manifest in others, and what that might look like to you

Some things you might notice in someone else:

• Withdrawing from social plans or cancelling more than usual

• Seeming irritable, snappy, or tearful without an obvious reason

• Looking visibly exhausted, anxiety is tiring to manage

• Becoming more controlling or wanting things to be perfect as a way of feeling safe

• Seeking a lot of reassurance, or needing to ‘check in’ repeatedly

• Describing themselves as ‘just a worrier’ without recognising it as something that could be helped

Naming what you are noticing, without diagnosing or overwhelming someone, can make a difference. Something as simple as “I’ve noticed you seem a bit stressed lately. Is everything okay?” opens a door without forcing someone through it.

When anxiety spikes, the first thing most people want to know is how to calm anxiety quickly, how to reduce anxiety immediately, right in the moment. Grounding techniques are some of the most effective tools for this, and the good news is they require nothing except yourself.

Grounding techniques and distraction

The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a good one. Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. It pulls your attention away from anxious thoughts and anchors you back in the present moment.

Similarly, box breathing, breathing in for four counts, holding for four, breathing out for four, and holding for four, directly activates the parasympathetic nervous system and helps stop an anxiety attack in its tracks.

Distraction can also be a legitimate anxiety management tool when used wisely. Calling a friend, going for a walk, putting on a podcast, these are not running away from the problem; they are giving your nervous system a moment to regulate before you face it. The key is not letting distraction become permanent avoidance.

Cognitive strategies: managing your thoughts

A lot of anxiety lives in our thinking patterns, which is why one of the most well-evidenced approaches to overcoming anxiety is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT. But you do not need to be in therapy to start applying some of its principles as part of your day-to-day anxiety self-help.

One of the most useful skills is learning to challenge anxious thoughts rather than accepting them as facts. When you notice a catastrophic thought, “I’m going to embarrass myself” or “This is going to go terribly”, try asking: What is the evidence for this? What would I say to a friend who had this thought? What is the most realistic outcome, rather than the worst one?

Journalling can be a helpful form of anxiety treatment at home for the same reason; it externalises the thoughts so you can look at them more clearly rather than just cycling through them on a loop. Even five minutes of writing down what you are anxious about and what you would need to feel okay can help shift things.

Limiting time spent doomscrolling or consuming anxiety-inducing news is another underrated strategy. Controlling anxiety is partly about managing your inputs, not just your reactions to them.

Social support and connection

One of the more counterintuitive things about anxiety is that it often pushes people towards isolation, just when connection is actually what helps most. Ways to manage anxiety long-term nearly always involve other people in some form, whether that is professional support, peer support, or simply the people already in your life.

Talking to someone you trust

You do not need to have everything figured out before you talk to someone. In fact, one of the biggest barriers to coping with anxiety is the idea that you should be able to handle it alone or that other people will not understand. Most people, when given the chance, want to help.

Telling someone you trust that you have been struggling is not a burden; it is a form of intimacy, and it almost always makes the anxiety feel slightly less enormous. It can also help the people around you to understand your behaviour in a new light, rather than taking withdrawal or irritability personally.

When self-help is not enough

Recognising when to seek professional help

Yes, everything in this article can help and is useful but it is important to be honest with yourself. Sometimes anxiety therapy and or medication are the things that make the real difference, and that is not a failure. It is just knowing which tool is right for the job.

If anxiety is significantly affecting your ability to work, maintain relationships, or enjoy your life, or if it has been going on for a long time, talking to a professional is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. Treatment for anxiety is well-established and effective. Approaches like CBT, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and trauma-informed therapy can help you understand why your anxiety works the way it does and give you genuinely new ways of dealing with it.

You can start by speaking to your GP, or if you would prefer not to wait, Pleso Therapy connects you with experienced therapists who specialise in anxiety. Online therapy for anxiety does not have to mean years on a sofa; many people notice change within a handful of sessions. Your first session is there when you’re ready.