Existential Therapy

Existential therapy has a bit of a reputation.

People hear the word existential and immediately think of, well, existentialism. 

But existential therapy is not doom-and-gloom philosophy. It’s not about sitting in a chair and debating whether life is meaningless.

Instead, existential therapy is one of the most human, warm, and refreshingly honest forms of psychotherapy. It’s basically the therapy version of that friend who can talk about anything, your dreams, your fears, your heartbreaks, your “What am I even doing with my life?” moments.

So let’s answer the big question, in the least intimidating way possible:

What Is Existential Therapy?

At its core, existential therapy (also called existential psychotherapy) is a talking-based approach that helps people explore the big themes of human life, things like:

• freedom

• choice

• identity

• meaning and purposemortality

• relationships and responsibility

• authenticity

If this sounds philosophical… it is. But in a very approachable way.

Here’s the simplest definition:

Existential therapy = a way of exploring your life honestly, understanding what truly matters to you, and learning how to make meaning through your choices.

It isn't about diagnosing you. It isn’t about analysing your childhood for hidden traumas. It isn’t about giving you a checklist of coping skills.

It’s about helping you understand yourself as a human being navigating a complicated, chaotic world.

A Quick History of Existential Psychology 

Every great therapy approach has its founding characters, and existential psychology is no exception.

If psychoanalysis had Freud, existential therapy has:

1. Viktor Frankl - the man who found meaning in suffering

Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, believed something radical:

Even when we can’t control our circumstances, we can control our attitude toward them.

His book Man’s Search for Meaning became the spiritual backbone of existential theory. His branch, logotherapy, focused on, you guessed it - meaning.

2. Irvin D. Yalom - the rockstar of existential psychotherapy

If therapy had a celebrity, it would be Yalom. He wrote novels, textbooks, stories about therapy, and books, like Love’s Executioner.

Yalom described four “givens” of human existence:

1. Death

2. Freedom

3. Isolation

4. Meaninglessness

It sounds heavy but Yalom delivered these ideas with warmth, humour, and humanity and modern existential therapists continue in that tradition.

3. The Philosophers - Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Sartre, Heidegger

Don’t worry. You don’t have to read them. But these thinkers argued that:

• Humans are free.

• Humans must choose.

• Humans must create meaning rather than wait for it.

• Anxiety is part of being alive (not a bad part, just a part of existing).

Existential psychology took these ideas and asked: “How can this actually help people in therapy?”. And, existential counselling was born.

What Happens in Existential Therapy? 

People often imagine existential therapy sessions like this:

Client: What’s the meaning of it all?Therapist: What do you think the meaning of it all is?

In reality, it’s far more grounded. Here’s what existential psychotherapy does focus on:

1. Understanding Your Values

What matters to you - not what your parents want, what society expects, or what you think should matter.

2. Exploring Your Freedom

Not freedom in a political sense. Freedom in the “you get to choose how you live” sense.

3. Meaning (or the Lack Thereof)

Feeling lost? Stuck? Disconnected?

Existential therapy doesn’t judge these feelings, it treats them as invitations to understand yourself more deeply.

4. Responsibility and Agency

Not responsibility as in “doing your laundry on time.” Responsibility as in recognising your own ability to shape your life.

5. Authenticity

Living a life that feels like yours, not one you’re performing for others.

Existential Therapy Techniques 

Even though existential psychologists aren’t big on worksheets or rigid formulas, they do have specific techniques and themes they work with:

Meaning exploration

“What gives your life a sense of purpose or direction?”

Choice clarification

“What choices are you avoiding and what fears sit behind them?”

Responsibility dialogue

“How do your choices align (or not) with your values?”

Freedom exploration

“What would life look like if you allowed yourself to choose freely?”

Confronting existential anxiety 

Not to overwhelm you but to understand what your fears are pointing toward.

Authenticity inquiry

“Where do you feel true to yourself, and where do you feel like you're acting?”

These aren’t strict steps. But directions the exploration might go in a session.

Who Is Existential Therapy For?

Existential counselling can quite literally be for anyone experiencing:

• life transitions

• relationship struggles

• a sense of emptiness or numbness

• burnout

• identity questions

• grief or loss

• feeling “stuck”

• anxiety about the future

• a desire to live more authentically

Existential therapy is especially helpful for people who say things like:

• “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

• “I know something needs to change, but I don’t know what.”

• “I want to live more meaningfully.”

• “I feel like I’m watching my life, not living it.”

• “What’s the point of anything?”

Is Existential Therapy the Same as Philosophy?

No. Absolutely not.

Existential therapists are not philosophers with a therapy licence. They don’t lecture you. They don’t quote Nietzsche at you (unless you really want them to). They don’t debate abstract theory.

They’re trained mental health professionals who help you explore existential themes as they show up in your real life, such as:

• “I’m scared to make the wrong decision.”

• “My relationship feels disconnected.”

• “I don’t feel fulfilled at work.”

• “I’m afraid of failing.”

• “I want my life to feel more meaningful.”

What Is an Existential Psychotherapist?

An existential psychotherapist is a trained counsellor or psychologist who uses existential theory to guide therapy.

They typically:

• help you explore your worldview

• ask deep but relatable questions

• pay attention to how you choose and avoid choices

• focus on meaning, authenticity, and freedom

• stay very present with you

• don’t impose interpretations (they don’t tell you what your dreams “mean”)

• treat therapy as a shared human encounter

Many are inspired by Irvin Yalom or Viktor Frankl, but every existential therapist has their own style. Some gentle and reflective, some bold and challenging, some humorous, some philosophical-lite.

The Big Misconception: “Existential Therapy Is Depressing”

Let’s clear this up:

Existential therapy is not about convincing you that life is meaningless.

It’s about helping you realise that:

• you get to decide what matters

• you are free to create meaning through your choices

• uncertainty is part of being alive

• anxiety can be a sign of growth

• authenticity feels better than performing

• you can live deliberately, not automatically

Why People Love Existential Therapy

1. It’s honest without being harsh

Existential therapists don’t pretend life is simple. But they also don’t leave you drowning in complexity.

2. It treats you as an equal

It’s more of a human-to-human conversation than a clinical interrogation.

3. It encourages growth, not dependence

You’re not taught what to think, you’re supported in discovering your own truths.

4. It works well with other therapies

You can combine existential exploration with CBT, psychodynamic therapy, EMDR, or anything else.

5. It builds resilience

Once you understand your values and choices, it’s easier to face all that life throws at you. 

Is Existential Therapy Right for You?

Here’s a quick test:

Do you ever wonder:

• “Am I living the life I want?”

• “Why does this decision scare me?”

• “What truly matters to me?”

• “Why do I feel disconnected?”

• “Is there more to life than this?”

If yes, existential therapy might be a wonderful fit.

It’s especially great for people who:

• prefer depth to surface-level tools

• want to understand themselves more fully

• appreciate open exploration

• value authenticity

• are navigating a transition (career, relationships, identity)

• feel “stuck” or “lost”

• like conversations that are thoughtful, meaningful, and genuine

Existential Therapy Helps You Become More You

Existential therapy doesn’t promise quick fixes. It won’t hand you a ten-step plan to happiness.

Instead, it offers something far more valuable: A space to understand yourself, choose your path, and live more authentically.

It’s therapy that doesn’t treat you like a problem to be solved, it treats you like a human being trying to live fully in a complicated world.

As Irvin Yalom beautifully wrote:

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is the courage to be who you truly are.”

And existential therapy is one of the best places to begin that journey.

Can Pleso Therapy Help with Existential Therapy

Yes, we have loads of different therapists who specialise in different areas of therapy. And we can help you explore what’s right for your online therapy journey. If you found yourself nodding along to this article and thinking YES I have felt this, well then existential therapy absolutely can be right for you. Our personalised matching tool will help you find the best therapist for your needs and goals.